Finally, things are settling back into normal. Better than normal actually.

I still haven't seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, tsk tsk. I was so hyped when I first saw the poster. Even more so when I found out that it was Burton and Depp behind it. I've had a few offers but I promised my kid sister I'd take her to see it. Since I've been hanging around the house more often we've come to a moot agreement not to attack each other. It's actually kind of nice to just bum around the house for a change.

But of course, it won't last. Now that I've got my hands on some cash, I need to set-up shop in project 4. It's wonderful to be home but it does induce a kind of lethargy in me. Why work when you've a got a fridge full of food and a TV with cable?

- - -

A bunch of birthdays flew by in the past month, my own included. I'm notoriously bad with remembering those things. If I greet anyone at all, it is amost always late. I did send a card to my older sister, though I doubt she got it in time. There's no love lost between me and the postal system.

- - -

Starbucks Missouri, my home away from home. Anytime I drop by there's always some scene just asking to be drawn. Here's a penned sketch of a girl studying by the big glass window. She was indian sitting on the rather high chair, and that instantly caught my attention. Well... that and the fact that she was wearing bright green... and seated directly in front of my table... and had slipped off her shoes, displaying well manicured toes painted clear and tipped with neon green. It took quite a lot of will power to stop myself from staring.

I made a lot of mistakes but it feels great to be drawing again. I wonder what (or who) tomorrow will bring.

3 am in the morning, groggy and eye sore, I pop online to send an email to my co-worker and suddenly. . *DING* . . YM pops up with a "u 0nline?!? - dEnz" (identity concealed) smack in the middle of my screen. I raise an eyebrow.

She's the sister of one of my night out buddies. Halfway through her teens. Peppy and bright. When I used to hang out at their house she'd always sit down next to me and just talk about anything and everything. Apparently, I was the only one among her brother's friends that had the patience to listen.

If I answer yes, then she'll keep me up for the rest of the night. If not, I get to sleep. . . But then I'd wake up with that horrid guilty feeling in the morning.

So I reply with a lazy "yef". Three minutes later, my cel is ringing.

    "Hello?"

    "Kuya Bruceeeeey! Nakakaistorbo ba ko?"

    "Di naman. Waddup?"

    "Sorry kung biglaan. May tanong kasi ako."

    "Hanep. Tinawag mo pa. Life and death ba."

    ". . . Medyo."

The alarm bells in my head start clanging.

    "Ano nanaman ginawa mo?"

    "Nanaman ka diyan! Good girl ako noh!!"

    "Kung tinawagan mo ko malamang may kalokohan kang nagawa."

    ". . . Wala pa naman, pero. . ."

    "Spit it out, kid."

    "Paano ba. . . ummm. . . paano mag. . ."

Long silence

    "Lam mo nasasayang lang load mo."

    "Ok lang. Kelangan ko tanungin eh."

    "Ano nga?"

    "Nakakaihaya eh. . ."

    "So nagtatanong ka kung paano mag. . . drive?"

    "Huh? Hinde."

    "Mag-swimming?."

    "No. Yung medyo hindi legal."

    "Uhhh. . . Mag-yosi?"

    "Marunong na ko nun."

    "Mag-lasing?"

    "Allergic ako sa beer!"

    "Mag-bong?"

    "What? Ano yun?"

    "Nevermind. . Mag-nakaw ng kotse na gamit lang ay coat hanger at pliers?"

    "Kuya naman e. . ."

    "Hehe. . . Ikaw kasi ayaw mo sabihin. Mahirap manghula."

    ". . ."

    "Mag-sex?"

    ". . ."

    "Hanep."

    "OK lang ba?"

    "Ano sa tingin mo?"

    "Sige na pleeeeease!"

    "Alam mo, mga bagay na ganito, sa magulang tinatanong."

    "Yeah right, Kuya. Wag mo sabihin parents ang nag sex-ed sa'yo?"

    "Hmmm. . . Good point. Matalinong bata."

    "Sooo?. ."

    "Ba't naman ako yung naisipan mo tanongin?"

    "Kasi ikaw lang ang guy na kilala ko na kumakausap sakin ng matino. Yung iba either flirt or parang bata trato sa akin."

    "Wow. . . flattered naman ako."

    "Pleeeeease. . ."

    ". . ."

    "Kung hindi, gagawin ko nalang ng walang ka-alam alam."

    "Ugh. . . Fine!"

    "Yaaaay!"

    "Pero usap lang ha! Walang mga demo-demo!!"

    "Oo naman. Kadiri naman kung may visual aids pa. Although. . ."

    "Hep. Tinataasan na kita ng kilay dito ha."

    "Joke lang! Kelan tayo pwede mag usap."

    "Hmmm. . . Next week. Text na lang kita kung kelan."

    "Okay. Basta wag lalampas ng Friday."

    "Demanding."

    "Syempre! Text mo ako ha! Ha? Ha?!?"

    "Oo naaa. . ."

    "Yaaay! Goodnight! Mwah!"

    "Babayo."

Click.

Ugh. Not that I mind talking about sex. I just don't feel like it's my place to give "the birds and the bees" talk. Hell, I don't think that talk should exist at all.

Humans are meant to blunder about, trying to figure out what that sensitive thing they have between their legs are for. When a child reaches puberty he or she will feel curiosity well up inside. A curiosity for the opposite gender.

Naturally, this results in interaction. Stolen glances, fly-by smiles, waving, back-patting, hand-holding, dating, etc. All the while, the person feels a growing urge for contact. Physical contact. Hot and heavy. Skin on skin.

But then there's a dillema. While the urge is there, throbbing with carnal energy, the person doesn't know what exactly it has to do. Through some lame twist of evolution, most humans no longer have the instinct for sex.

So what do we do? Being the rational creatures we are. . . We research!
There's the age old tradition of "Search for the hidden porno" and the ritual of "Talking about sex with a bunch of other people who know almost as little than you do". Every tidbit of information gleaned from books and television is locked away in a reserved section of the brain. Most likely labeled: "for future reference"

Eventually the person accumulates enough knowledge that he or she can now screw up enough guts to actually do the deed. And then he or she does it again. And again. And again.

Probably with different people.

In different places.

In different ways.

Some people figure it out from the get go. Others take it nice and slow. Some people fumble, blush, apologize, and run away. Still others get into trouble. Trouble that requires stuff like clinics, nine months of pain, and the occassional lawyer.

But in the end, everybody comes out a little wiser than they started. And not just in the field of sex. That alone is well worth the effort.

. . . and, well. . .yeah. . .

And so I went ahead and got it over with. It was supremely uncomfortable, knowing that whatever I say could dramatically change a person's views. And the fact that sex was the topic in question made quintupled the complexity of the situation.

So there we are at 2 am on the rooftop of her place with a pot of coffee and a pack of cigarettes. It's was a looooooooong talk so I won't go over the details. Here are a few choice cuts.

- - -

B: "You see, when a man and woman are in love..."

D: "Bullshit!!!"

- - - 

B: -draws various positions on a sheet of paper complete with text labels-

D: ". . .The flying sorbetero?"

B: "Use your imagination."

- - -

D: "Egg-white?" 

B: "Messy but effective."

- - -

B: "Feeling ng guys, the more girls they sleep with, the manlier they become."

D: "Di ko gets. Sa akin red light agad yun. Ibig-sabihin player yun, 'di ba?"

B: "Marami talagang guys na ganun eh. At marami ding girls na pumapatol parin kahit alam nilang player yung guys."

D: "Daming bobo sa mundo."

B: "Amen."

- - -

B: "Size does matter. Just not in the way that every one thinks it does."

D: "So bigger isn't always better?"

B: "Hmmm... Alala mo nung na-lock out ka sa bahay last month?"

D: "Yeah. Bakit?"

B: "Tapos triny mo isaksak yung army-knife screwdriver sa keyhole?"

D: "Sooo..."

B: "Isipin mo nalang kung ikaw yung keyhole..."

D: "Ahhh. . . Shet." 

- - -

D: "Wala akong porn noh!" 

B: "Dami kaya. Nakita ko sa room mo. Isang buong shelf pa nga eh."

D: "Alin? Yung mga Julie Garwood romance novels?"

B: "The correct term is girl-porn."

- - - 

B: "According to the church, procreation, a.k.a. sex, is holy and should only be done with your spouse. Kailangan mag-abstain hanggang kasal ka na, otherwise hindi ka na good christian."

D: "Alam ko yun. Nagsisimba naman ako eh."

B: "Tapos, masama din sa mata ng diyos ang divorce."

D: "... Your point?"

B: "One of the leading causes of broken marriages is the inadequacy of a couple's sex life."

D: "Sooo... Para di sabog yung marriage, kelangan i-test nyo muna kung sexually compatible kayo. Pero di pwede kasi sin ang pre-marital sex."

B: "Yup!"

D: "Labo ng buhay."

- - -

D: "Kailan ko malalaman kung totoong love ko yung guy?"

B: "Pag wala na siya."

- - -

B: "Supposedly for males, nicotine reduces your sex drive, caffeine makes it harder to maintain an erection, while alcohol increases drive but inhibits the ability to perform."

D: "Ahhh... Kaya pala 'di ka kasing libog nina kuya."

B: "Langhiya ka..."

- - -

Hehe. Although maraming jokes, seryoso naman yung usapan. We went through a lot: the science of the act, contraception, STD's, pregnancy, family planning, ethics, religion, law, positions, techniques, sexual aids and so on. I was as frank as possible and I think that I did a pretty good job. By the end, she looked as if she was satisfied with the answers.

In the end, I told her that she shouldn't take everything I say as fact. I could be wrong. I'm human, after all. Take everything with a pinch of salt.

And now it's time I get a bit of shut eye. Much to do tomorrow... err... later I mean.

-sigh-. . . I miss sleeping. 

I spent a good part of the evening kitty-sitting. Over at Casa Domingo, Dyan has a new kitten named Boots. He's a tiny thing. All black, except for his paws which are white just above the ankle. He looks like he's wearing little white boots (hence the name) I know that I'm supposed to be working, but I can't help myself when he's around. He's too cute to ignore.

The best part is when he falls asleep against my chest. I just feel so calm with that little spark of life snoring in the palm of my hand... It's pure joy.
 

Quoted from Tatsuya Ishida, artist of Sinfest.net

 

You know how when rock stars play the guitar they make all sorts of funny faces cuz they're really into it? Well, when I draw I do the same thing. When I sketch I got that easy breezy too cool for school look. When I do inks I whip out my focus face, all intense and burning with concentration. When I mess up I get the angry Shit-I-Fucked-Up-Now-I-Gotta-Use-White-Out Scowl. Very sexy. Sometimes I get that pained expression when I'm doing ultra fine detail work. As I gear up for the big finish my strokes get quicker and quicker, my eyes bug out, my hair explodes like Yahoo Serious, I'm totally insane. Energies reach their breaking point. I can taste the final crescendo as it all comes together, all my skill and talent, my genius, my love, my truth, laid out there on what was once a clean white sheet of paper. Spent, I sit back, light a cigarette, wipe away the last remaining bits of eraser dust and purr, "Was it good for you too?"

 

And that is how art is made. -salut-