So my PC has become a breeding ground for viruses. Spybot found a whopping 259 infected files. Not to mention Sasserworm (thanks to Cha for cleaning it out of my system)

I was planning to buy an anti-virus from Virra Mall but my Tita intervened. She's against the use of pirated software and insists that we buy a porper copy of Norton.

As long as I'm not paying for it, why not? I'll have to wait 'til Sunday though, before I completely clean out that PC.

In other news, I'm 21. Big whoop. I am now of legal age to gamble. And get married without consent (as if I'm planning to get married any time soon)

Off to finish my drawings now. I'll soon be posting my tribute to two girls with tattoos (you know who you are )

[8:42 PM - Apartment Allarey]

Bruce enters the office loaded with coffee and grim determination. Boots up the PC with a push of a finger. Watches with slitted eyes as the desktop loads; pixel by tiny pixel.

Mere seconds after the Start menu flashes into existence he springs into action.

Alt+Ctrl+Del!!
Cancel mdm, Jagahk, svchost, svchost, svchosting, stvuili, wuamgrd and dailin!
Exit MSN Messenger!
Connect to PLDT Vibe!!!
The silence of the night is shattered by the screeching of the internal modem.

Bip. Bip. BIP. BIP. Bip. BIP!
...
Toneenooo Kreeeek Truunn
Toodee toodee toodee toodee
Kripity krip ack ack KRIPP!
Connected at last. In but a minute, the viruses shall face their greatest enemy...

The AVG Anti-virus Freeware Utility!!
(okay maybe not their greatest)
Seeing the threat on the horizon, the viruses double their efforts, choking the internet connection with outgoing signals. Bruce watches his connection status with gritted teeth.

"Bytes received 712,345.
Bytes sent...
8,426,968!!"
Yet it is too late, the AVG is fully downloaded. Triumph draws ever closer!

Two clicks, a right and a left, and the connection is gone. No avenue of escape is left for the accursed Spyware and their Adware brethren.

Two clicks. Unzipped.

Two Clicks. Executed.

Setup?.. Click.. OK!

Unpacking files
...
.....
.......
DONE
Bruce licks his lips, Serial Code in hand, ready to unleash the program that would sweep his troubles away. His shaking hand poised above the Num pad...

... all in VAIN.

AVG has failed to install.


Virus Wins
GAME OVER

Scanner's not working yet so for the meantime let's let off some steam. Hold up your hands and scream out loud, here's a fuckin' rap from Rev in the house!

---

Get Up and Gone
by yours truly

In a world gone black
Dead of the night
Prowlin' through the street
Itchin' for a fight
Kickin' the asphault
Coiled up tight
Burning the hours
'Til the day's first light

'Cause it's so hard
To think
To blink
To be
To see
To dance
To bounce
To move to the beat
(Yo!)

Waitin for sunrise
Wishing for dawn
Eyin' the skies
For the sign to move on

Don't give up
Don't give in
Don't let in the doubt

Just get up
And get out
And shout
The fuck! Out!

Don't dance to the tune
Don't groove to the song
When they come around
You better be long gone!
Keep your head held high
Keep your mood in check
Lay out all your cards
But keep an ace in the deck

You playin' with the big boys
Know how to stand
And when you're shot down
You better know how to land

'Cause it's so hard
To try
To fly
To soar
To bust
To fall
To crash
To feel the fuckin' backlash

Curled up in defeat
Knowin' that you're beat
Then get up again
And get back on the street

Don't give up
Don't give in
Don't let in the doubt

Just get up
And get out
And shout
The fuck! Out!

Don't dance to the tune
Don't groove to the song
When they come around
You better be long gone
I'm listen to the music
Played by the piper
It's too much for me
Too hard to decipher

That crap ain't my cake
This shit ain't my style
So fuck it
I'm leavin'
I'm off on the mile!

I don't dance to the tune
I don't groove to the song
I'm strainin' to listen
But the beat is all wrong

I'm not you're frickin' puppet
I'm not a fuckin' pawn
Bethca when you look up
I'm gonna be long gone!

Two of my favourite people in the world had a bad Saturday. One was in a funk. The other was on the brink.

If only I could split myself in two so I could take care of you both. -hugs-

Afterwards it's off to Taverna. It wasn't what I expected but it turned out pretty well. Hey. Who says no to free beer?.. Well he does. Weird. But enough about him and lets talk about me while the buzz is still ringing in my veins and bones.

When your patience runs thin
From the funk that you're in
Tell me what ya' gonna do?
ACT DA' FOOL!

When you're doin' your best to fuckin' make a connection
And all he can show you is his fuckin' card collection
Tell me what ya' gonna do?
ACT DA' FOOL!

When you're itchin' to break faces
In the worst of places
Tell me what ya' gonna do?
ACT DA' FOOL!
Tch. Self-control's a bitch.

Bad boy, bad boy.
What ya' gonna do?
No no no. The bad boy don't go with the flow. But, damnit. It feels so good to be bad...

Big seester gives me Bebop Plushies!!

I'm feeling sick today. Like my insides are burning. And yet I feel cold. Antibiotics made me sleep, forcing me to miss out on the Legacy Page photo shoot. Tch. And I'd been looking forward to that. Damn.

The drug induced sleep gave me disturbing dreams. It's related to two previous dreams (Alpha Awakes & Open Window) You probably won't understand this entry if you don't read the others. But that's your choice to make.

This time the dream doesn't bother me as much. I've come to believe that they are mere reflections of my state of mind, rather than a premonition of things to come.

---

I'm lying amidst a pile of books and papers, exhausted. Slowly I let my eyelids shut of there own volition.

"Rest is for the WEAK."

The peaceful silence shatters with the crackling of static and the hollow voice of 'The Lost'.

"Go away, Lost. You are not needed here."

"I did not come to take your place, dull one."

I sneer at the door.

"Then what..."

"Golden." The Lost says quickly, cutting me off.

I sit up abruptly.

"When?" I snap.

But the static was fading and The Lost did not answer.

I scramble to the door, scattering sheets of paper in my wake. I press my ear to the door, straining to hear.

"Soon."

A single word, yet it slid through the air like a strip of silk wafting in the wind.

I step away from the door, the hard angles of my face creased with displeasure.

"Goldentongue." I say slowly, spitting out every syllable.

"Nothing but trouble."

Rowr. After a two hour nap I woke up feeling better than I have in a long time. That's quite a surprise since yesterday I felt like crap. Thusly I spent the past hour indulging myself, to further enhance my good mood.

Chocolate cereal with raisins. Mmmm. The cereal (Kellog's Paws) is kinda tough but it still doesn't match up to Quaker Oats Banana-Nut Crunch. Now that cereal will really work your jaw muscles.


BEFORE Banana Nut Crunch

AFTER Banana Nut Crunch
Anyway, back to the story. So after my early breakfast I fired up the old shaver. Now my head (no not that one, you perv) is sleek and sexy once more. I spent a quarter of an hour posing in front of the mirror doing Austin Powers imitations.

-cue disco music and psychedelic lights-
"I am a sexy beast! Yeah baby, YEAH!"

[narrator voice over]
And now for a rare authentic photograph of the (sexy) beast known as Bruce.
[end voice over]

The CS boys on our GB (Gimick Baguio) the past summer vay-cay.
I'm the handsome bald head wedged in between the seats.
From left to right, Top row: Miggy, Jopoy and Judd
Bottom row: Jeff and Eumir
Now I'm off to have a cup of MAN-COFFEE (real men take their coffee black) before I go clean up my room to prep it for the painting. Still deciding if i want my main color to be deep red, Starbucks green, or smoky black. -sigh- Decisions, decisions.

Sorry if I haven't been blog hopping lately. I'll catch up soon as I finish get over my dashing good looks.

Yeah, baby, YEAH!

Sundays is C&C day. Coffee & Contemplation. While I prefer to do this alone, my friend C (codenamed by request) joined me for the night. The following is an excerpt from out conversation.

B: (me) How do you feel?
C: Beautiful. -hair toss and eye-lash flutter-
B: -laughs- See? It feels great to love yourself.
C: Mmhmm. You ought to love me, too. It'd be good for you.
B: Sorry, honey, but there's only one true love in my heart, and you're looking at him. -strikes a pose-
C: Arrogant bastard.
B: Self-centered bitch.
(laughter followed by a period of silence)C: It really would be good for you, though.
B: -raises an eyebrow- What would?
C: -looks me in the eye- Loving me.
B: Not for you though. -grins-
C: Why not?
B: Because I don't do romance. Flowers? Chocolate? Stuffed toys? Not my style.
C: Cheapskate. Scrooge. -sticks her tongue out-
B: -indignant look- I prefer the term, 'thrifty'
C: -shrugs- Whatever. I don't mind.
B: -frowns-
C: ... What?
B: You were serious, weren't you.
C: -looks away- ... Maybe.
B: -sniffs- Oh, boy.
(long silence)C: Is it me?
B: Of course not.
C: Then it's you?
B: It's... -looks away- ... a lot of things.
(longer silence with coffee sipping)C: -quietly- How can you stand it?
B: Which?
C: Being loveless.
B: -raises an eyebrow- Me? Loveless? Since when did that happen?
C: Since you broke up with V.
B: -gags on his coffee- What does that have to do with being loveless?
C: -irritated look-
B: -eye roll- Just because one person stops loving me doesn't mean everyone else does. I am still loved. I got parents, family, friends... -smirks- ... you.
C: -tries to frown but ends up laughing- ... Ang yabang yabang mo! Hmph!
(five minutes of chuckling and giggling)C: Fine, fine. -eye roll- Friends.
B: -stands behind C's chair and gives her a hug- ... If it's any consolation, I think you'd make a great girlfriend.
C: -tosses her hair- Only an idiot would refuse me.
B: You got that right. -thinks about what he just said and smiles-
C: -smiles back- Idiot.
(back to regular conversation)

Hopefully that was both entertaining and enlightening. (I know there's a lesson to be learned there somewhere)

I have a friend.
We call him Brick.
It suits him.
Why?

He's the dead weight draggin' ya down.
Not that he isn't a good person.
We wouldn't have become friends if he wasn't.
...
But that was a long time ago.

People change.
And it so happened that I owed this particular person.
Quite literally I owe him a pound of flesh.
My left hand to be exact.
... But that's another story.

So anyway, yesterday he came calling.
I had work to do. I had school to go to.
But I owed him. A matter of pride and honor.

We didn't talk much.
He didn't want my words.
He wanted my fists.

- - - - -
Three hours later I'm sitting at Starbucks.
I see an old high school friend.
I meet some of the staff.
I sketch on some yellow paper.

It seemed so surreal.
Especially with the pain in my back.
Courtesy of my friend, the two-by-four.

But this is the last time.
All debts are paid in full.

---

Pft. Maybe I'll erase this later. But for now I just want to warn you kids.

Hang with your homies.
Hook up with a gang.
Bust up in the alley.
Go out with a bang.
I got lucky.
Maybe you won't.
Watch yourselves.

... Surprise, surprise. It's YOU."

That was the last conscious thought I had last night before i fell asleep/passed out on my bed. Fatigue finally won me over.

First time in weeks that I've woken up in the morning. Kinda nice.

Apologies also for the previous entry. I was in a bad, bad state of mind. Thank God for my YM buddies keeping me distracted long enough to let my mood run its course. And you. Yes, YOU! Thank you for reducing my brains to mush... Repeatedly.

Before I go, here's the lyrics for "Kailan Pa Man" by Kevin Roy, a song that has been slowly gaining popularity among my friends. Heck, I even translated it to English. Enjoy.

Now I'm going to go out and take a walk. See the sun. Watch people. Smell the smog (this IS Manila, after all)

I'm taking this day slooow.

You know when you have one of those weeks where stuff just keeps piling up one after the OTHER and you're scrambling left and right to clear the "IN" box and send it to the "OUT" yet every time you look up you find that the "IN" is growing bigger and BIGGER and LOOMING right over you like the finger of God poised and ready to come crashing down on your head crushing you into the dirt, THROUGH the Earth's crust, past the miles of MAGMA, poking you into the CORE and down past the SEVEN LAYERS OF HELL, right into COCYTUS where JUDAS's (or is it Satan?) ASS is protruding from the ice waiting for The LORD Almighty to shove your face into it submitting you to ETERNAL DAMNATION?

Well it's been one of those weeks. As the CS peeps say..

STROMBOED
I woke up today feeling tired and pissed, somehow managing to drag my ass into Fitness First to work out the mental fuzz. Then as I was going home I passed through the mall. Browsing through clothes and shoes I found myself drawn to thing's I'd never wanted before.

Clunky biker boots
Black sandblasted jeans (brown fade)
Muscle shirts
Chains

And I'm like, woah there. BRAIN CHECK. And sure enough I'm imagining myself in grunge duds and a mohawk.


Then all I'd need is a Yamaha YZF R1 and I'd be all set.



Argh. I'm going nuts. Somebody get me a drink. And a smoke. And a triple espresso on the rocks. Shaken, not stirred.

Woohoo! Capped another week with a fantastic saturday. A great finish for such a crappy week.

Hung out at the Casa Domingo with the weekenders. Kielbasa, spam, soup and creamed corn courtesy of me. Big thanks to the lovers for the beer and cigs! (Napaka-gallante pag pinagsasama!)

2 liters is the limit when beer is the drink in question. After that I'm foot-loose and kissing crazy. Three kisses to a girl. Three to a guy. But that's all cheek shots so spare me the scandal.

D & B (codenamed 'til I get permission) are getting along fine and that makes me happy (though logically it shouldn't) I even egged them on to show a little sugar. Mark your territory, boy! That fish is one tough catch... Catfish! Mwahahaha!

I DUI'd this morning. Well not really. Tipsy is tipsy but when I get behind the wheel the mind clicks into gear. Drove my aunt to NAIA. 'Twas my first time driving there. Got lost on the way back. Ended up at Roxas Blvd. but at least I knew my way home from there. Thank you G.J. Puyat for being the straight and steady arrow that guides me back to EDSA.

Gave Stephan (my Bishi Lancer) tire check and rub down when I got home. Ever since Serena named him I've been the ever-loving owner. He's a lot like me. Beaten, pock-marked, scarred and slightly cock-eyed but he's dead sexy when he's all cleaned up.

Major apologies to Martin for ditching. Sorry dude but I really just wanted to chill today. Promise I'll make it up. I'll sing my lungs out if need be, but save it for a weekday.

And now it's off to dream land for me. Hope you guys have had a great weekend. I know I have.

In his Homily, the priest at this morning's mass said something that never fails to irk me.

We are, but weak humans. Let Jesus be your guide. Let God be your strength.
Now, I am not an aetheist. I believe in God. I believe that God is in his heaven. He watches our daily doings and uses his powers to interfere in our lives. Help or hinder. However he so pleases.

That's why I hate it when I see people who, upon the faintest hint of adversity, drop down on their knees and lift their hands up to the heavens and pray for God to save them from their ill fate.

Newsflash. He's probably responsible for dumping that shite on you in the first place. And another thing. If Jesus, as a man, was able to save millions upon billions of people, why can't you save yourself?

The human is unique in his ability to think. To reason. To reflect. To understand the situation and react to it. We have whole sections of our stores stuffed with "How to's" and "Help yourself" books; solid proof that we've found ways to do almost anything.

The human is unique in his ability to adapt. To invent and innovate. To conquer the elements we created clothes, buildings and central heating. To conquer hunger we devised farming and livestock raising. The car, the chair, the spoon, the fork, the gun, the computer. Extensions of our soft fleshy bodies which enables us to surpass our physical limits. To do things we only ever dreamed of doing.

Mentally and physically, the human is equipped to deal with any, if not all situations. The human is an evolutionary masterpiece.

We are humans. Choose your own path. Trust in your own strength.

"Life's like that. When it rains it pours and there ain't nothin' you can do is to wait out the shit storm."

That's one of the gems I picked up from the people that waltz in and out of my life.

Monday was sweet. Lost in translation and a bit of singing practice at Martin's house. That was the last night I spent dry.

Tuesday heralded the storm. Drizzling rain keeping my head cool as it filled with things I sometimes wish I never knew. It takes a lot to rattle me and that night I was shaking so hard my teeth were starting to uproot. And it wasn't even my problem. Go fig.

Tuesday stretched into a long Wednesday. The flood was a blessing in diguise. As I pushed my wet and dead Stephan through Visayas Ave River, the dim thoughts in my head were momentarily pushed aside by frustration and pent up rage. I spent the rest of the day cooling down with Am at Mc D and the house over cheesecake, coffee, and Yoshiyuki Sadamoto.

The night turned into a road trip from QC to Fairview and back. Casa Domingo was my home for the night, Walking Tall playing in the blurry screen in front of me while the airconditioning and soft chatter lulled me to sleep.

Thursday, Stephan and I slept the day away. Not much of a rest though, thanks to fitful dreams and bodily pain. Even Stephan had a bad day, crawling with ants, trying to get at the coffee I had stupidly left on the dashboard.

Friday was hectic. Greenhills to Pandacan to Makati for band practice. Then Greenhills again and Pandacan again and School and Greenhills. The Metro blurred around me as I went from place to place.

That night I opened up my YM only to be greeted by more trouble. Seems evil men have been plaguing my friends. Pft. Men. Screw em' all. (Even if I'm one of 'em)

Saturday was respite. Spent an hour dancing to RnB.

Dance as if no one's watching. - Tatsuya Ishida, Sinfest

Spent 3 to 3 sleeping away the head and body and heart ache. Woke up feeling fresh. A little chat with Dyan, laughing at all the tripped up antics of the past week. Black one raped my borrowed shirt.

The minute pick yourself up, life takes a swing at your kneecaps.

Not five minutes after I left I bumped into a Tamaraw. Dented his bumper. We agreed that I'd just pay for the repair. Left Stephan with him as a sign of good faith and went home to pick up my cash (Goodbye Diesel Jeans. Better luck next time.)

Now that all is said and done, I'm back at Casa Domingo. Drained and tired and just hoping...

... that it doesn't rain tomorrow.

Ah. A good night's rest does wonders. I'm back from that lapse into self-pity I oh-so hate. Pft. I'm inclined to delete my last post, but then again, it'll serve as a reminder that I'm slipping.

Stephan and I will be spending the rest of the morning cleaning up to our usual, ruggedly handsome selves. Then it's out for a day of strolling the mall walk, exchanging glances with passing hotnesses.

Speaking of hotness, I somehow stumbled onto Suicidegirls.com coming from Megatokyo. From webcomic, to blog, to softcore-porn/nude-model site.

Pale skin is the best canvas for body art. If you walk past me, flaunting even just an inch of tattooed skin, you'd better believe that I'm watching, even if just out the corner of my eye. Piercings are good as long as it's in moderation. Multiple earrings... rowr. Tongue ring... double rowr. Here's a preview of Suicidegirls.com.


Suicidegirls.com

Cropped to PG-13 view. A personal favourite. Sexy toes and strappy heels. -drool-
Don't get me wrong. I love morenas. They have a raw, exotic beauty. Like goddesses born from the earth itself. Dark silky hair, deep red lips and intense brown eyes that swallow you up into oblivion. Mmm... The Philippines may be going to hell in a handbasket, but living here still has its perks. Here's one.


Pinayxposed2.web1000.com

Andrea del Rosario featured in HotStuff Magazine. Rowr.
Can't wait to go take my walk around Theatre Mall. Eye-candy. Mmmmm...

I wake...
from fevered dreams of fingertips
sliding
gliding
burning ten thin trails
across silky smooth skin
exciting
enticing
inciting fire from the flesh.

- - - - - - - - -
rowr. now i need a shower. on the rocks.